la misérable

It was mid-October: I was exhausted, worn, weary, weepy.
On Friday afternoon I had lamented to a friend ad nauseum about my inability to: 
keep my home clean, 
do daily tasks, 
stay awake,
stop crying,
make a list for the cleaning gal  

I was overextended, exhausted, unorganized but also a bit overjoyed–
My friends had gifted me with a ticket to Les Miserables.
I was thrilled and encumbered at the same time.  I wanted to see the show, but didn’t know if I’d have the umph to enjoy it, knowing what a miserable mess my life was.

On Sunday I:
attended church, 
stopped home for seven minutes
went to lunch with a friend from out-of-state
stopped by home for five minutes
answered a text from the friend who offered wisdom to my tears:
                     go to the show, don’t stay home to sleep or clean
ate supper in Des Moines
bought chocolate-covered espresso beans to put in my coffee
explained the plot to the theater newbies next to me
quietly hummed along (yes, it was quietly).

I was floating on the way home from Des Moines.  It could have been the bottomless cup of coffee resulting in exorbitant amounts of caffeine, but I really think it was the lyrics sung by Jean ValjeanMy soul belongs to God, I know, 
I made that bargain long ago. He gave me hope when hope was gone; He gave me strength to journey on… Over and over this phrase danced through my head.

Upon arriving at home, lyrics of hope still swirling, I was greeted by an outdoor fall arrangement rich with the colors of the season.  I smiled, knowing the gifter — the friend I’d lamented to on Friday and who’d texted on Sunday.  I opened the door, turned on the light and was so shocked at what I saw I burst into tears: my entire home had been cleaned from top to bottom (I swear I even saw some sparkle bursts) including an intricate fall display on my kitchen table.  That random act of cleaning gave me hope when hope was waning; it gave me strength to carry on…into the next week.  I drifted off to sleep…smiling…crying…humming.

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