12 Days Clean

     On July 2nd, I experienced a sweet encounter with God beyond words and earthly explanation that changed my thinking from “God what is this?” to “God’s got this!” I was convicted that because God is in control, I had to relinquish my death-grip on trying to figure things out–quite frankly, my success rate wasn’t very high, but I’m tenacious.  I had to stop turning to search engines for answers and on-line lab results for clues, it was consuming my waking hours.
     I made it through a week without a peak, made it through more consults and blood tests without searching, admitted to my Bible study group that I was addicted to on-line searching.  Then it happened…nine days in, I got an itemized statement of my services while at Mayo Clinic.  There in black on white were names of all the new tests that had been done…many I’d never heard of before and with all that was within me I wanted to Google.  My death-grip on control had been loosened, but there was a piece of me still hanging on.  I began justifying within myself: “Two words, just two words and a limit of five minutes. Maybe I could have a friend look up the words for me and look at my lab results and tell me–technically it’s not ME doing the on-line searching.”
     “How many days have you been clean?” the voice of a sweet believer from my Bible study sang amidst the chaos in my head. 
     Nine Days…I’d been clean nine days; days that had been filled with more peace than I’d known in the prior tens of thousands of days.  Who was I to think I could search a coupIe of words and come up with an answer to a problem that experts in the medical field had been perplexed by?  Who was I to take into my hands the intricate timing of God for revelation.  Who was I to not trust that God had this under control?
But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed a single moment. “Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked; but the righteous will live by their faith.” Habakkuk 2:3-4

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