Searching for Answers

Not knowing is the hardest part. After seven days at Mayo Clinic and hundreds of tests there is no definitive answer. The only words that have been thrown around are ‘systemic’ and ‘vasomotor’, but thankfully not ‘idiopathic’. I was told that a lot of ‘really serious’ things had been ruled out, to which I replied, “I figured that because I’ve been dealing with this for 18 years and would be dead by now if it were really serious…I’m just REALLY miserable.”
     I’m inquisitive and when my blood is drawn I sweetly ask the tech to see the labels, then commit to memory what’s being tested so while I’m waiting for my next appointment I can get on the internet and research. TEST + SYMPTOM …over and over because there are a lot of tests and a lot of symptoms. I’ve downloaded the Mayo Clinic app on my ipad and can check for the results whenever I like, even though the doctors openly share my results with me at each consultation…not much to cover because thyroid antibody is the only result that’s abnormal (just like a year ago).
     As I teacher I’m accustomed to answer keys and solutions and I’m aching to search for an answer, but have been convicted that I can’t…this is something that God wants to reveal to me in His time. Monday I have another appointment and more tests, and I want to look at the doctor’s clinic notes to see what’s been ordered–already word combinations are popping in my head for possible searches, but I can’t because I have been given an answer:
 Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

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