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At Witz' End

Scandalous Results

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22 Jun

     The Ga68 scan has greater than 92% accuracy in detecting tumors larger than 5mm, however, no tumors were detected in me.  The results were read by two independent doctors and  Dr. S said, “The objective evidence is there.”  Going in, I knew there were two directions: tumors=surgery; no tumors=continue with medication until the tumors manifest. On Tuesday, I have a follow up visit and I’ll get an injection of long-term (lasts 3-4 weeks) medication that should offer a more continuous relief from the symptoms. No more shots in the middle of the night!!
     This was not the direction I thought this was going and admittedly have cried for innumerable hours — I was really hoping to be better by the end of the summer, but if there’s nothing that can be seen…there’s nothing that can be taken out. I’d contemplated offering up random chunks of innards and hoping for the best, but most surgeons probably wouldn’t go for that.
     This from “Your Best Life” devotional that I read today:

Maybe you’ve invested a lot of time, effort, money, emotion and energy in a [situation]; you did your best to make it work out. But for some reason, it failed, and you feel robbed. Perhaps God is asking you: “How long are you going to mourn over your broken dreams?” When we focus on our disappointments, we stop God from bringing fresh, new blessings into our lives.

I am surrounded by troubles, but I am not crushed and demoralized. (working on this)
I am perplexed (REALY perplexed), but I know God knows what to do.
I am hunted and spiritually terrorized, but God never abandons me.
I get knocked down, but I get up again & keep on going.(not up yet, flopping around in a pool of tears)
I Corinthians 4:8-9


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