At 4:38am, exactly four hours to the minute after I’d taken medication, I woke up with horrible abdominal cramps, followed shortly by excessive tears and a runny nose. Of course it resolved after about fifteen minutes. My first thought was “Oh boy, I’d better get ready. In less than 24 hours I’ll have to be off of medication in prep for the scan.” I don’t know if I fully remember what a struggle every day was without medication…the full effect of not knowing when I’d suddenly be struck with horrible symptoms and trying to handle it with grace. I’ve gotten very used to feeling okay — a little complacent.
I’ve gotten very used to sloppy thinking — a little complacent. For the past week I’ve worked hard at trying to get my prescription filled — hours on the phone. The medication is here in town, I just need the powers that be to recognize that the authorization is good until February 2013. It’s been really hard for me to let God have control of this situation — I want it resolved NOW, so I don’t have to worry about how it will turn out. Most of the day I’ve been wondering about medication: how I can get it and how I can do without it…how quickly I’ve forgotten the importance of taking the medication of God’s Word. (see ‘Medication’ post)
“My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:20-23
Earlier today the chorus from “Until the Whole World Hears”caught my ear:
Let us shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night
May the powers of darkness tremble as our praises rise